Psychology and Philosophy Archives - Page 2 of 5

June 1, 2020June 11, 2020

The Benefit of Having Range

A More Beautiful Blossom Later in Life

Think of this as a hybrid book review along with some personal take-aways.

Early this morning, I finished “Range: Why Generalists Triumph in a Specialized World” by David Epstein. Weaving thorough research with compelling story-telling, the second book by Epstein drew me in almost as much as “The 7 Habits…” by Covey in the late ’80s. Like Covey’s timeless bestseller, it came to me at the right time.

Late to the Game?

You see, I turned 50 last September. Throughout my 30’s, I really felt like I was behind in life. While most of my college friends had already settled into relatively successful and stable careers, I was just getting started with a drastic career change after spending most of my 20’s in Japan.

Because I’ve chosen to follow a nonlinear career path, I have often felt insecure about my success, or lack thereof. Although I’ve gotten over it, for the most part, the comparison game still gets to me sometimes. Reassuringly, one of Epstein’s parting notes were:

“Compare yourself to yourself yesterday, not to younger people who aren’t you. Everyone progresses at a different rate, so don’t let anyone else make you feel behind. You probably don’t even know where exactly you’re going, so feeling behind doesn’t help.”
— David Epstein, Range (2019)

Whether or not that last sentence is reassuring, I get it’s debatable. When I admit to myself that, at 50 years old, I’m still not really sure where exactly I’m going…shame comes to mind. I’m learning that’s the result of many years of social conditioning.

10,000-hours vs. The Sports Gene

And that’s one of the important questions posed by Epstein. When Malcolm Gladwell popularized the 10,000-hour rule, everyone seemed to jump on the wagon (I know I did) and really push for the head start in some sort of specialization. For example, start really young with violin lessons and then dedicate 10,000 hours of deliberate practice to achieve extraordinary expertise.

The Sports Gene, which was Epstein’s first bestselling book, proposed a twist. Then in Range, he expands on the importance of early life experimentation–or what I like to call dabbling–before diving deep into some area of specialization. That’s not to say that early specialization isn’t good. It’s just not the only way to create an extraordinary life. Famous examples of late blossoms include Van Gogh and Julia Child.

I agree with Epstein when he says the world needs both…Specialists and Generalists working together.

My Take-Aways

I acknowledge that I like reading anything that supports my decisions, even if those decisions happen to be wrong! So I’ll keep that in check. That said, here are a few key thoughts I’ll continue exploring:

Don’t feel behind. Success in life, or any endeavor, should not be defined by early and immediate accomplishment. Some of the best things (and people) take time to bloom.
Don’t feel guilty about experimenting with your various interests. Especially if your interests seem totally unrelated and don’t appear to create anything of value as deemed by others. Some of the most meaningful and influential discoveries (e.g the effective treatment for HIV) in history have come as a result of someone’s tinkering with something that, at that moment, seemed utterly useless and a waste of time.
Keep yourself in check when you subconsciously start comparing yourself to others. It’s not healthy. You become unnecessarily anxious. Truly successful people don’t really give a shit. You already know this.

I gave Range a 5-star rating in the Goodreads app. Even if it doesn’t connect with you as strongly, I’m confident you’ll still agree it’s a worthwhile read. At the very least, it will round out your view of the 10,000-hour rule. Highly recommended for those of you who consider yourself Dabblers.

*Originally published for the Dabbler publication on Medium

August 13, 2016June 6, 2020

Going from Private to Public — Personally Speaking

As an introvert, I usually prefer to keep to myself and avoid the limelight. I’ve noticed, though, that I like to stand at the edge of the shadows. I look and I listen, passively participating as others with more gusto express themselves uninhibited. If living a full life is about enjoying experiences, I sometimes fill my void by living vicariously through others.

I’m most inspired by people who have the courage to put themselves out there even though, like me, they’re inclined to hold back. They’re often the ones that surprise me with something new. Something different. Something I don’t get from those who normally live in the public eye.

That is why I am here. And why I am sharing my writing publicly.

Unlike others on Medium, I’m not a published author. I don’t consider myself a good writer, but others have taught me that it’s not a prerequisite to making a meaningful contribution. What’s more important is staying true to yourself and telling your story. Not to be recognized. Not for the green hearts. (I can’t deny they’re encouraging.) But to share something that might make a difference to someone else.

So this piece goes out to everyone standing at the edge. Nothing wrong with staying there. It’s a comfortable place to be. A fulfilling life can be lived in so many ways, with or without the limelight.

For me, sometimes that’s not enough. So I intentionally get uncomfortable and do things I love for public consumption. I record my DJ mixes and post digital versions on MixCrate. I create a YouTube video for my kids of me dancing in the living room. I write about my career insights on LinkedIn. And I share my miscellaneous perspectives on Medium.

As hard as it is, I try not to be too concerned with the number of views, likes, or recommends. When I focus on how the public share might help just one other person, I’m satisfied. I simply find exhilaration in the act of creative self-expression. It bridges the gap between the shadows and the light. Between my comfortable introversion and my wannabe extroverted side.

Where I work, there are two expressions that frequently come up in the corporate lingo:

Be yourself
Leave it better than you found it

Those words resonate with me because I like to apply them to my personal life as well.

If you’re up for it, why not join me for the occasional moment of gusto? No talent necessary. Just be yourself and have some fun. There’s security in living vicariously, but I don’t think you’ll regret occasionally stepping out and doing a little dance. Your dance. You just might inspire someone, in a way that only you can. In doing so — to paraphrase Ralph Waldo Emerson — you’re succeeding at making this world a better place because you have lived.

Originally published on Medium

August 9, 2016

Insights from Burning My Lawn

Our yard, especially our front lawn, was never really healthy. I could blame the builders and the company contracted to initially sod our lawn, but as the owners, we haven’t done a very good job of fertilizing and maintaining it.

Over the summer, with a month of extra time on my hands, I decided to make a change.

To provide some relevant background, I am not one to spend hours on the lawn every weekend. Even though it may need mowing, I sometimes skip a week. I tackle the weeds only when they become a major eyesore.

That should help explain why I burned the lawn when I tried to fertilize it about a month ago. I quickly reviewed some YouTube videos and skimmed over the instructions on the fertilizer bag. A few days later, I had burn marks on the sidewalk from the granules that spilled over, and patches of my lawn were brown from too much fertilizer.

It was embarrasing to say the least.

One evening, as I was taking out the recycling for pick-up, one of our not-so-friendly neighbors happened by, totally ignoring me, and scowled as she looked at our front lawn in disgust. Without saying a word, I could hear her judgment loud and clear.

This bothered me so much, I kept dwelling on the mistake I made.

Now, several weeks later, I’m over it. Things always seem more intense in the moment. In retrospect, I learned a few things.

Life After Death

The brown patches were areas of the lawn where the grass was unhealthy. They were thin and weedy to begin with and the excess fertilizer actually finished them off. Based on some online advice, I spent an afternoon dethatching the brown areas and removing the layer of dead turf. I also gave the lawn some extra water.

As the weeks passed, the stolons from the healthy St. Augustine grass began growing to fill in the unhealthy areas. While I’ve read it will take time for a complete recovery, the grass is growing better than before.

I needed to remove the bad grass to make room for the good grass. Where there was death, now there is new life. And the grass is greener where I watered it.

My Theory of Relativity

At the time fertilizer burn took over my landscape, everyone else’s lawn seemed so much greener. That’s when I felt the worst about the mistake I made and how I looked in comparison.

What’s interesting is that, since then, the hot summer sun and lack of rain has made other lawns in the neighborhood full of brown patches. In comparison, my lawn doesn’t look so bad anymore. It really hasn’t changed that much yet. It’s just that, relative to others, what I thought was the blight of the community, is now just another lawn needing to weather another hot dry summer.

It’s all relative.

Because I was fixated on the results of my mistake, it seemed so much worse, and it felt like it would take forever for it to get better. Once the surroundings changed as well as my frame of reference, the time to heal seemed to speed up. And I no longer felt so bad about the mistake. It taught me a lesson and reminded me about the importance of perspective and how relativity can significantly alter the way we see things.

“When you are courting a nice girl an hour seems like a second. When you sit on a red-hot cinder a second seems like an hour. That’s relativity.”
— Albert Einstein

Change of Seasons

My summer experience reminded me about keeping things in perspective. Not to be too hard on myself. Fertilizer burn is not the end of the world. Even though we’re told not to sweat the small stuff, it’s funny how we react in the heat of the moment. I made a mistake and I learned from it. I’m grateful and carry on.

“Anyone who has never made a mistake has never tried anything new.”
— Albert Einstein

Some change happens naturally, like the change in seasons. Individual changes are up to us. We need to try new things and mistakes are inevitable along the way. No need to dwell. Learn your lessons and move on.

The kids start school again tomorrow. It’s the end of summer break and fall is around the corner.

As this season ends and the new one begins, I’m feeling good about the changes to come and the lessons to learn — especially from the little things that happen every day. It can take time for some changes to make a real difference. Some of the best changes happen over several seasons. And we sometimes need to make room in order for better things to come our way.

To make the most of change around the bend, let’s

try something new
make a few mistakes
check our frame of reference
clear out some of the dead stuff
plant some seeds of change
grow