Donn Durante, Author at Donn Durante

June 1, 2020June 11, 2020

The Benefit of Having Range

A More Beautiful Blossom Later in Life

Think of this as a hybrid book review along with some personal take-aways.

Early this morning, I finished “Range: Why Generalists Triumph in a Specialized World” by David Epstein. Weaving thorough research with compelling story-telling, the second book by Epstein drew me in almost as much as “The 7 Habits…” by Covey in the late ’80s. Like Covey’s timeless bestseller, it came to me at the right time.

Late to the Game?

You see, I turned 50 last September. Throughout my 30’s, I really felt like I was behind in life. While most of my college friends had already settled into relatively successful and stable careers, I was just getting started with a drastic career change after spending most of my 20’s in Japan.

Because I’ve chosen to follow a nonlinear career path, I have often felt insecure about my success, or lack thereof. Although I’ve gotten over it, for the most part, the comparison game still gets to me sometimes. Reassuringly, one of Epstein’s parting notes were:

“Compare yourself to yourself yesterday, not to younger people who aren’t you. Everyone progresses at a different rate, so don’t let anyone else make you feel behind. You probably don’t even know where exactly you’re going, so feeling behind doesn’t help.”
— David Epstein, Range (2019)

Whether or not that last sentence is reassuring, I get it’s debatable. When I admit to myself that, at 50 years old, I’m still not really sure where exactly I’m going…shame comes to mind. I’m learning that’s the result of many years of social conditioning.

10,000-hours vs. The Sports Gene

And that’s one of the important questions posed by Epstein. When Malcolm Gladwell popularized the 10,000-hour rule, everyone seemed to jump on the wagon (I know I did) and really push for the head start in some sort of specialization. For example, start really young with violin lessons and then dedicate 10,000 hours of deliberate practice to achieve extraordinary expertise.

The Sports Gene, which was Epstein’s first bestselling book, proposed a twist. Then in Range, he expands on the importance of early life experimentation–or what I like to call dabbling–before diving deep into some area of specialization. That’s not to say that early specialization isn’t good. It’s just not the only way to create an extraordinary life. Famous examples of late blossoms include Van Gogh and Julia Child.

I agree with Epstein when he says the world needs both…Specialists and Generalists working together.

My Take-Aways

I acknowledge that I like reading anything that supports my decisions, even if those decisions happen to be wrong! So I’ll keep that in check. That said, here are a few key thoughts I’ll continue exploring:

Don’t feel behind. Success in life, or any endeavor, should not be defined by early and immediate accomplishment. Some of the best things (and people) take time to bloom.
Don’t feel guilty about experimenting with your various interests. Especially if your interests seem totally unrelated and don’t appear to create anything of value as deemed by others. Some of the most meaningful and influential discoveries (e.g the effective treatment for HIV) in history have come as a result of someone’s tinkering with something that, at that moment, seemed utterly useless and a waste of time.
Keep yourself in check when you subconsciously start comparing yourself to others. It’s not healthy. You become unnecessarily anxious. Truly successful people don’t really give a shit. You already know this.

I gave Range a 5-star rating in the Goodreads app. Even if it doesn’t connect with you as strongly, I’m confident you’ll still agree it’s a worthwhile read. At the very least, it will round out your view of the 10,000-hour rule. Highly recommended for those of you who consider yourself Dabblers.

*Originally published for the Dabbler publication on Medium

May 25, 2020June 6, 2020

Dabbling Again: Revisiting An Old Project With New Perspective

Making The Tigger Tendency Work For You

As a self-proclaimed “Professional Dabbler,” I often find myself jumping from one interest to the next. Oftentimes, those interests seem completely unrelated. I’m sure others scratch their head when they observe what appears to be a nonlinear and chaotic path that I follow.

One of the inherent risks with living a Dabbler lifestyle is the so-called “Tigger Tendency” (aptly named after the bouncy character of A.A. Milne’s Winnie-The-Pooh), as described by author Benjamin Hoff in his book, The Te of Piglet.

“The final problem we might mention about the Tigger Tendency is that the worthwhile and important things in life — wisdom and happiness in particular — are simply not the sorts of things one can Chase After and Grab. They are instead the sorts of things that come to us where we are, if we let them — if we stop trying too hard and just let things happen as they need to. Tigger found this out when he discovered What Tiggers Like Best…”
— The Te of Piglet by Benjamin Hoff

During the course of my nonlinear career thus far, I’ve confirmed that the problem is not in the tendency of jumping around, but rather in the intent of why people zig-zag in the first place. If it’s to chase after and grab happiness, the prize is elusive and the experience can be quite frustrating. Case in point, at the start of my career, “chase and grab happiness” was my intent and I found myself jumping around in circles and often getting lost.

I hope the following example will help reassure other Dabblers. Despite the naysayers and other challenges along the way, dabbling can be a good thing and there’s a reason why we should let the moment draw us in, even when it doesn’t seem to make a lot of sense at the time.

Coming Full Circle

“We shall not cease from exploration
And the end of all our exploring
Will be to arrive where we started
And know the place for the first time.”
— T.S. Eliot, Four Quartets

In 2001, I launched a website as a business. My goal: to help engaged couples find resources when planning their wedding in Chicago. (I was working as a wedding DJ living in Chicagoland at the time.) Similar to how this Dabbler publication on Medium came about, it was not something I had planned to do. It unfolded at the moment as inspiration struck. With a lot of effort, but mostly by sheer luck and timing, it actually did well for quite a while and made a decent profit from vendor advertising.

When I first got ChicagoWeddingServices.com up and running, I worked intensely. Almost non-stop every day, I enthusiastically taught myself everything I needed to know while simultaneously applying what I learned to build and optimize the site. Although I paid a hefty price in terms of life balance and family time, it became a springboard for the beginning of a new career.

One thing led to another and the experience eventually landed me many years in executive management as a digital marketer. Because the demands of corporate life didn’t leave me much time to continue with the Chicago Wedding Services side-hustle, the site went downhill and just flew on autopilot for more than a decade.

As life would have it, I’m out of corporate again. Recently, with the COVID-19 circumstances, I’ve had the time and opportunity to revisit ChicagoWeddingServices.com as a project. This go-around, I see things in a new light and am enjoying the process in a much more balanced way. Applying everything I learned the first time and since then, I’m also better able to avoid my earlier mistakes and bad assumptions.

This time around, I’m not chasing the attention or the money of a successful, high-traffic website. If that happens again, great. If it doesn’t, that’s fine too. The project, in and of itself, has reignited a fire within that was beginning to flicker away. I can get lost for blissful hours of tinkering and developing. Reacquainting myself with a forgotten friend, the process brings my passion for digital creation to life. At the same time, I can still easily walk away from it when it’s time to walk the dog, cook dinner for the family, or simply just rest. I couldn’t do that before.

This is just one example of countless lessons I’ve learned from living life as a Dabbler and coming full circle.

Dabble in interests that really bring out your passions, not just the next new shiny object. Go all in, but don’t lose your balance. Get lost in the moment but stay connected to reality. Do it for the love of the game and not just the final score.

I’ve found pleasure and happiness in the act of becoming rather than focusing too much on what I will become. Joy has come to me from bridging the gap between who I already am with who I might be someday. This has helped me stop feeling like an inadequate imposter in a world where being someone well-known and important is an admired thing.

If you’re a natural dabbler, be comfortable in your own skin by accepting your inner Tigger. It’s okay to jump around and explore. Understand why you bounce and enjoy the journey. You’ll eventually get to where you need to go. But remember that happiness is already where you are.

Photo by Dimitar Belchev on Unsplash

Original post from The Dabbler publication on Medium.

September 3, 2017June 6, 2020

Because I Want to Make a Difference

I was exhausted.

I had spent months looking at job postings and nothing seemed to fit my criteria for the type of role with the kind of company that I wanted. Many people also looking, whether actively or passively, can relate I’m sure.

For me, it had nothing to do with the caliber of the organizations or the number of opportunities available. There were plenty. There still are. What was most important to me was the fit and trying to find an opportunity where I didn’t feel I had to settle.

Yes, money was a factor and I had a minimum threshold, but the salary wasn’t first on my list. Corporate culture was very important, but many employers did not come across as being consistent with what they claimed. The role itself wasn’t even primary. I was looking for the whole package…a meaningful role with company I enjoyed that paid a reasonable wage.

Any one of those things, even two of those criteria, are easy enough to find. For whatever reason, adding a third filter left me with few choices.

I was about to give up when I got the call. I actually got calls from two great retailers within the same week! It was a dream scenario where I had to choose between opportunities that were great for different reasons.

In the end, one worked out and the other didn’t. Things happen for a reason and I’m thankful, in that way, the decision was steered for me.

During the final stages of the interview process, my would-be boss asked how I would try to attract good talent to join the team. I answered, “I wouldn’t.”

Then I explained myself. For me, talent means nothing if it’s not a good fit for both the candidate and the company. And no matter how good a company might be, if you don’t make a meaningful contribution and feel good about it, the job slowly sucks your soul.

“Instead,” I said. “I would tell them about the organization the way I see it, including the aspects that aren’t that appealing.” I would say things like, “the infrastructure needs some work and there can be a tendency to work in silos. That said, the majority of employees are good people and the leadership has vision and style that bring out my best.”

“I would proceed to answer any questions and call attention to both the good and the bad. It’s important for someone to know exactly what he or she is getting into.”

So then he says, “What if I told you that…our infrastructure needs updating and we have processes that need rework…

…Would you still be interested?”

I told him that it would depend on whether or not I felt I could help make things better. To be part of rebuilding something and know that I’m playing an important role.

Fast forward a few months. The job is indeed challenging. Priorities seem to constantly change (or there are just too many at any given time). And cross-functional collaboration has room for improvement. But I’m feeling more fulfilled at work than I have in a long while. Why? Because I feel like I’m making a positive difference and everyone I work with brings out my best. Some days are better than others. Sure. During unusually tough days, I remind myself how nothing good ever comes easy and that our BHAGs are worth fighting for. More importantly, I enjoy facing everyday challenges alongside the team that is now family. Together, we fight the good fight and we work hard for the right reasons. I couldn’t ask for better.

It’s time for us to scale the team here, and so I ask you…”Would you still be interested?”

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Photo Credit: Evan Clark