Career breaks are becoming increasingly common, but they can still be a difficult and emotional experience. In this article, I share my own experiences with career breaks, and I offer some lessons that I have learned along the way.
I’ve had several (5+) career breaks throughout my life, and each one has been different. But one thing has remained the same: they have all been opportunities for learning and transformation.
In this article, I’ll share some of the most important lessons that I’ve learned from my career interruptions. I hope that my experiences can help others who are navigating this challenging transition.
For me the first few times were excruciating. I went through the 5 stages of grief even though I wasn’t aware of it at the time. As the cycles continued—a run at a new job eventually leading to an abrupt stop—I became more resilient, learning how to improve upon the previous iteration. The stages shortened and sometimes I leapfrogged to the Acceptance stage.
As I approach the next crossroads, I think about all of my colleagues who have experienced similar. I note the increasing number of posts of those who have not been as lucky, still struggling to find their next chapter after months and months. Most of all, I think about (and am very grateful for) my friends and family who have supported me through the roller coaster ride that has characterized the past decade.
The Gamut of Emotions
WTF? — Disbelief and anger used to be the knee-jerk reactions. The last two times have been better, though. Probably because I wasn’t trying to disguise my emotional tempest any longer. Since I had gotten familiar with the usual warning signs, the news didn’t really shock me this past week. I was mentally and emotionally prepared. I had confidence in my ability to bounce back. I saw the experience more objectively and even empathized with the employer who had justifiable reasons for their decisions.
Helplessness — There were a couple of layoffs where I tried to negotiate afterward. Anything to keep some money coming in. What if I took a pay cut? Could I continue as a part-time consultant? Contribute to a different role perhaps? This bargaining always turned out to be futile, but for the best in retrospect. I’ve learned it’s important to move forward instead of clinging to the past.
Depths of Despair — Whether it’s your first or you’ve been through several, at some point, it hits you hard. No more denial. No more bargaining. Just sadness, anxiety, and depression. Totally normal and something that just needs to run its course. I sometimes found myself wallowing in despair, embracing the darkness of uncertainty and hopelessness. Ironically, diving deeper down helped me bounce back sooner. This time around, I’m confident I can bypass the Depression stage again. During my previous layoff experience (only six months ago), I didn’t feel it at all.
Relief — It’s normal to feel relief after a layoff, even if you’re worried about the future. After a long period of stress and uncertainty, it can be a relief to be free of that burden.
You may find yourself focusing on the positive aspects of the situation. For example, you may have more time to spend with your loved ones, pursue your hobbies, or explore a career pivot.
This period of rest and reflection is important for your well-being. Take some time to recharge and figure out what you want to do next.
Each experience is unique and depends on the person. I did see a common pattern, though. Before long, we turn a corner, look up, and realize a new chapter has begun.
The Reframe — Matter of Perspective
During a transition, before I begin a new career chapter, I make it a habit to reflect on the previous chapters. The following summarizes some of the most important lessons learned when navigating a career interruption.
- It’s not personal. Over the years, I spent time to better understand the anatomy of a layoff. While they can be avoided, no company is perfect, and if an organization gets to the point of last resort…well, tough decisions need to be made and there will be collateral damage. While it’s hard not to take it personally, doing so makes the entire experience unnecessarily more difficult.
- You’re not a failure. Take ownership but don’t blame yourself. Could you have been better or done things differently? Sure. Reflect and learn from the experience. Then apply that to the next go-around.
- Reconnect with your core values. A job well done and a life well lived are natural outcomes of staying aligned with what’s most important. Getting caught up in the hustle and grind often leads to misalignment. We forget why we’re doing what we do in the first place. We start making compromises and concessions while our soul suffers for it. Take whatever time it takes to reconnect with what makes you whole.
This is the most important lesson. We all have a north star that only we can define for ourselves. Your core values act as your compass. Without them, it’s easy to get lost. Use them to find your way during uncertain times.
This applies to individuals and organizations alike. Of all the possible paths you could take next, the ones that align with your core values are the only ones to seriously consider. You can ignore all the rest. - Sunrise after sunset. Some days are better than others and when you’ve had a hard day, it helps to remember that this too shall pass. Take it one day at a time. The sun will rise again tomorrow and you can start anew. Everything is temporary and our time is limited so it’s a nice reminder to make the most of every moment and make it meaningful.
So Now What?
(Talking to myself) Choose how you’ll respond. You control that. It’s okay not to know. Take the time to explore new paths or fresh possibilities, but be intentional and choose wisely.
Time and again, I’ve seen that a “career, interrupted” was needed and that the best is yet to come.
Featured Image Credit: Photo by Malcolm Lightbody on Unsplash
