Essentialism /əˈsen(t)SHəˌlizəm/ (as defined by Greg McKeown)
The disciplined pursuit of less
Even though I specifically wrote down at the beginning that I would curb my smoking this past weekend, I didn’t. I think I actually smoked more than I usually do. I often blame stress as one of the main reasons I smoke. It helps take off the edge I say to myself. So when I work, I smoke due to the stress at work. You would think, then, that I would smoke less when I’m off work. For me that hasn’t been the case. At home, I smoke due to a different kind of stress. Being a parent can be stressful. You might be tempted to turn to electronic cigarettes as a way to ease the transition from traditional cigarettes to not smoking at all. There are flavors being created all the time, you will find premium e-liquid options for your vape. When the children test your patience, or you feel non-stop busy running the kids around to their various activities, or just daily chores you feel obligated to attend to. Of course, it all depends on what you focus on, and your attitude towards it. When I find myself overly concerned with the things that I want to do, then everything else is a distraction, but when I catch myself doing that, I can often course-correct and start focusing on what I can do for my family since I’m home. This is my way of transforming the stress to joy.
Last Wednesday was Ash Wednesday and the beginning of the Lenten Season. Growing up, I was always under the impression that we had to give something up during that time. That’s how my Dad stopped smoking. He gave it up for Lent one year and then never went back. In the last few years, I haven’t taken the tradition very seriously. This year, I had no real intention to give anything up, but then yesterday Sofia asked me what I was giving up for Lent. She noticed that I went out to the backyard to smoke and had already done it only about an hour before. She cautiously mentioned that she knew something good that I could give up for Lent. Smart cookie that one. Very subtle and sincere without leaving me feeling picked on. I didn’t feel angry like my knee-jerk reaction would have it. I felt guilty because I could see Sofia really cared and she said it with that childlike innocence that you just can’t get mad at. Normally I would get annoyed, whether it be at Caro or Mom, because I simply get bothered when the topic comes up. Everyone means well so I try very hard to keep my knee-jerk reaction in check.
Anyway, I was thinking about it again this morning. Giving up something aligns with the whole “Essentialism” philosophy I’ve been drawn to after reading Greg McKeown. I’ve learned from earlier attempts that promising to stop smoking would just lead to disappointment for everyone. What could I give up that was doable and be a good thing to let go of so I could focus on better things? It would have to be something challenging but that I would be confident enough to pull off. As I did a cursory mental review of how I spend my time, I thought of just the thing…watching TV. That would include Netflix and Redbox which I gravitate towards when I need an escape or comfort from the daily stressors.
This I can do. Even if the only side-benefit is to give me more time to sleep, that would be worth missing a night of Gotham or waiting a little longer to watch “The Martian” recently released on Redbox. We’ll see how it goes. Maybe if I can get a smaller win this Lenten Season, I’ll go for the bigger challenge of a smoke cessation program.
Although I prefer the whole abundance mentality thing, daily life can definitely feel like a series of trade-offs. Trying to do it all and have it all leaves most of us burnt out and still not satisfied. As pointed out in “Essentialism” by Greg McKeown, when deciding how to spend your limited time, it really helps to let go of the trivial many for the vital few. “Less but better.” In other words, find the discipline to do less of the unimportant so you have time to focus on what really makes a difference. Funny how we often choose otherwise.
So when it comes to Lent this year, I’m not giving something up for the sake of sacrifice. I’m exercising my ability to better choose how I spend my free time. Watching TV is now on my “to don’t” list, at least until the Lenten season is over.
Last night I tried making Kare-Kare for the first time. It’s one of those classic Filipino dishes that I grew up with. The whole combination of slow-cooked oxtail, simmered with eggplant, bok choy, and other vegetables in a soupy peanut butter sauce just goes so well together. As someone stated in the comments of the recipe page. It’s comfort food. Serve it up with warm white rice. Add some bagoong (shrimp paste) on the side. I always associate Kare-Kare with fond memories.
What I like about this recipe is that you don’t rely on Mama Sita’s Kare-Kare mix. You just make it from scratch.
It turned out ok but not great. For the first trial, I’m not surprised. Here’s what I would do differently the next time I make it:
Cook with enough time in advance to let the meat broth cool. When the fat thickens and separates at the broth’s surface, remove it. (I personally don’t mind all the fat, but it would make Caro happy.)
Oxtail after simmering in water for about 4 hours. It was still hot but you can see the fat bubbles along the surface.
Use more peanut butter! Even though that’s the ingredient I think really makes Kare-Kare uniquely delicious, I went conservative this first time. Not all the kids like the peanut butter soup so I thought they might give it a try if I kept it subtle. The result was Kare-Kare with only a hint of peanut butter flavor. Sofia still didn’t like it. On the other hand, Caro added more peanut butter to her serving. It was lose-lose both ways.
The kids love fried rice, especially Luna and Leon. I smile watching them enjoy it as much as they do. Last night, though, I overcooked it and added too much black pepper. They still liked it but for next time, I have to be more attentive. I was juggling both the Kare-Kare and fried rice on different burners, trying to be efficient. Instead, I spread myself too thin. It’ll take a lot more practice before I get to that point of juggling without dropping the ball.
I was still living in Japan at the time (circa 1997) the web really started to take off. Caro and I were only dating then, but she saw my interest and bought us our first laptop. It was an early Mac Book and the screen was only black and white but we got it at a decent price ($1000 USD factoring in the dollar/yen exchange rate). That’s how it began. I got sucked into everything Internet.
So much about the Internet was exploding with potential. Living abroad, the whole concept of email was wonderful – no long time gaps between writing letters and receiving responses. It felt so instant. The only challenge was that not everyone was using email yet. I spent so much time playing around with this new tech toy, everything from learning design software to surfing the nascent web. I stumbled upon GeoCities, a web hosting service that gave people online tools to create their own website. It was exciting to think you could create something multimedia and then immediately publish it for others to see.
My first site was based on a theme I called “Spheres and Cones.” Basically it was a model I used to frame the idea of self-actualization and personal growth. My friend, Scott Scholtens, also bought a laptop and he was better at the design thing than I was, so he helped me created a logo and other graphics for the site. Fond memories of the early days when I didn’t care so much about how good (or not so good) my web design skills were.
The Next Step Up Back In The States
Advertisement placed in a program for The Philippine Students Association 2001 Fashion Show at UIUC
After returning to the States, I continued web design and tried to take it to the next level. The next stage involved using websites to support my entrepreneur initiatives. While working retail, I spent my other time trying to build out concepts for a mobile DJ business which I called Sound ReCreation. I wanted to go all-in so I formally incorporated the business and bought the domain name. Sound ReCreation, Inc. was an S corporation (Delaware) with the website www.SoundReCreation.com. It started with the conventional content (About Us, Contact, Services, Pricing, etc.) then I tried to add song lists, music clips, PDF client forms, and a page for partners and related vendors. I’ve lost many of the original image files, but here’s an idea of the logo and site layout. I found an ad we placed for a University Fashion Show Program.
Credits for the logo and site design go to Tommy Torres, my lifelong friend whom I grew up just referring to as “cousin” though we’re not technically related.
Actually, I forgot to check the Internet Archives. WayBack Machine had some site pages archived. Here’s a capture from December 26, 2002 (Wow! Did I really write that content for our About Us page? Weird reading it after all these years)…
Falling In Love with Wedding Sites
As Sound ReCreation evolved, I learned that the money was in DJing weddings so I focused on acquiring clients for weddings over other types of events. Eventually, my “Partner” page of the site expanded to a point where I decided to break out vendors into categories, such as Chicago Wedding Photographers, with a dedicated page for each category. Using what I learned from self-study plus trial and error, I optimized each category page for the search engines. Over time, the site analytics showed that the most visited pages of SoundReCreation.com were the wedding vendor category pages. Local wedding professionals started contacting us asking if they could pay to have their business included on our pages. They too noticed our high search rankings and decided it was better to pay us than figure out the SEO thing themselves. That’s when I had the idea to buy a new domain name so these pages could spin off into something new…ChicagoWeddingServices.com. (I went ahead and bought ChicagoWeddingDJ.com as well. I was surprised it was still available.)
The original look of CWS in 2001. Tommy Torres Design came up with the elements and I pieced it together.
I had a feeling that these SEO friendly domain names could piggyback off the success I already had with the SRC vendor pages. I was right. ChicagoWeddingServices.com and ChicagoWeddingDJ.com started showing up in the top 3, if not number one, of the organic search results for many relevant search queries. Any time someone searched for something like “wedding reception venues in Chicago,” or something local and wedding related, we would come up. Call it dumb luck or whatever, but I accidentally became good at SEO when the search engine algorithms were not yet as sophisticated as they are today. That luck lasted several years until about 2005 I think. Google had a major algorithm update and I finally fell from grace with Google. Traffic died and today is less than a hundred visitors each day. It was great while it lasted.
While I was tempted to sell the domain and give up on the site as a business, I’ve kept it and tried to update it enough so it isn’t as terribly dated as the original design that was not mobile-friendly. Last year, I finally had the time to complete a redesign that was years in the making. It was DIY since it made no financial sense to pour more money into a site that no longer made any profits. I used the opportunity to play around with responsive design and CSS. This is how it looks now on Desktop and Mobile:
Desktop Screenshot of ChicagoWeddingServices.com in 2016 I have an HTC One M8 and this is how CWS displays on my smartphone
Dabbling In Miscellaneous
Lately, I haven’t spent much time on any new websites. That said, a month or so ago I agreed to help out the Boy Scouts Troop that my son León is a part of. They wanted to put up a website that they could leverage for recruiting new Scouts in the area so my wife and I bought troop23nocatee.com and I quickly put together a WordPress site hosted on my existing web server. The template is simple so it can be consistent with the printed flier they made for recruiting.
Boy Scout Troop 23 Nocatee in Ponte Vedra FL http://www.troop23nocatee.com
[Update 2/18/2016]
A few years back, I was overzealous and bought quite a few domains with the intention of monetizing them somehow. Most of them have just been parked yet I renew them every year, hopeful that I’ll eventually do something with them. Perhaps I’ll put them on the market and see if I can recoup some of my expenses. Most likely I’ll just let them expire so someone else may run with them.
I’ll list the domains here and if anyone has ideas and wants to partner on a project with any of these domain names, please get in touch.
The original intention was to spin off more targeted sites for specific services and/or cities. For example, cityweddingphotographers.com could have any number of subdomains for each city. NewYork.CityWeddingPhotographers.com would target photographers and their potential clients in the New York City area. Once upon a time, these niche sites would outrank the larger sites such as TheKnot.com. That’s how ChicagoWeddingServices.com took off. Advertisers on CWS would tell me that they got better traffic and more bookings from our site, and it didn’t cost as much to advertise with CWS. Nowadays, it will take a different approach to succeed. I have ideas but the time and effort needed is substantial (team of freelancers?). Collaboration seems to be the better option. If you’re interested in batting around some ideas, please mention that in a comment to this post and I’ll be in touch via email.
CWS Makeover (Again)
[Update 5/29/2020]
Hard to believe it’s been four years since I’ve experimented with site development. The last couple of months gave me the time I usually don’t have. I’ve been home with the family and have revisited projects from years past as well as took several online courses to freshen up my digital skills.
After finishing one of the sections of The Complete Digital Marketing Course, I got inspired to leverage WordPress (and a paid “directory theme”) to give ChicagoWeddingServices.com an overdue makeover. I didn’t realize that some of the newer themes and plugins have so much built-in functionality. After spending a good chunk of time researching options, I invested less than a hundred dollars on a Templatic directory theme. I was amazed by what I could now build without having to be an expert at CSS, Javascript, AJAX, or database management.
Unfortunately, about two weeks later, I encountered limitations with both my existing web server as well as the theme I paid for. I had already spent so many hours migrating the old site to the new WordPress version, but I decided to accept the sunk cost and start fresh with a new web host and a different directory theme. I switched from IONOS by 1and1 (which I have been using since 2005) to BlueHost. I also spend another $40 to buy a directory theme called Direo with a better design and lighter code.
Although it took more than a week to migrate yet again, I’m so glad I did. The responsive mobile experience is significantly better and I’m not having server issues with shared SSL certificates being dated, REST APIs not functioning, and missing PHP modules.
WIP It Good
The foundation has been laid. A bunch of trial and error, but I learn best from doing. It’s still a work-in-progress (WIP) but I’m proud to show you the latest evolution of Chicago Wedding Services.
Justifying the Cost
Although this is no longer a business per se, I was easily able to integrate the theme checkout with my existing business PayPal account. I also included dynamic ad placements from my AdSense account. If it makes money here and there, great. Not my priority or the reason why I did it.
It’s been a fun ride the last few weeks and I was able to recondition some of my rusty skills. That alone made the investment in time and money well worth it.
